Today we experienced some normalcy as a family. Nothing all that wild, just some shopping and dinner out. Know what? It felt......weird. Clearly that is a symptom of the fact that we don't do that sort of thing nearly often enough. I mean, just going and doing something without needing to achieve a result; simply being together as a group of people who are related.
We gotta get out more....it was fun!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Local Color
Recently my job took me to Hatteras Island, NC. Crossing the Oregon Inlet bridge, which is the only road connection to the rest of the Outer Banks, is like stepping back in time in some ways. There are lots of local stories and tales related to the area and it is pretty fascinating to hear some of them told and experience being a part of the area. After all, thousands of tourists come each year to vacation there and revel in the relaxed lifestyle.
I made the acquaintance of someone whose family has been on the island for generations and wanted to share an interesting tidbit that reminded me of the "old" concept of earning what you get.
The local economy was built on the fishing trade and has transitioned over time to relying heavily on the tourist trade, but there are still fishermen around who work the local waters. Remember that fishing for a living is a tough way to make money, considering the constant exposure to the elements, the high overhead and the relatively low revenue often produced by the catch.
This woman's family, as I said, has been in the area for generations and she shared the story of how, at the age of 9 years, each of her siblings and she received a wooden skiff built by their daddy, a fisherman. They were presented with the skiff and an expectation: they had to earn the money for the motor. In order to earn the money they would go out in the mornings before school and work their daddy's crab pots and catch fish with nets. Having no motor, they would row out to the fishing grounds in order to perform their tasks. There were apparently few "gimmes" either, since her older brothers would motor by on the way out without offering a tow. After working the pots and catching fish the kids would head in, turn over their catch to daddy and he would sell it at market, keep track of the monies earned and, when enough was earned, they would be able to buy a motor.
I find this fascinating on several levels, including the simple view into the local history 50 years ago, the lesson about working to earn something of value, the concept of supporting the family and the contrast to how things are today. Pretty cool stuff.
I made the acquaintance of someone whose family has been on the island for generations and wanted to share an interesting tidbit that reminded me of the "old" concept of earning what you get.
The local economy was built on the fishing trade and has transitioned over time to relying heavily on the tourist trade, but there are still fishermen around who work the local waters. Remember that fishing for a living is a tough way to make money, considering the constant exposure to the elements, the high overhead and the relatively low revenue often produced by the catch.
This woman's family, as I said, has been in the area for generations and she shared the story of how, at the age of 9 years, each of her siblings and she received a wooden skiff built by their daddy, a fisherman. They were presented with the skiff and an expectation: they had to earn the money for the motor. In order to earn the money they would go out in the mornings before school and work their daddy's crab pots and catch fish with nets. Having no motor, they would row out to the fishing grounds in order to perform their tasks. There were apparently few "gimmes" either, since her older brothers would motor by on the way out without offering a tow. After working the pots and catching fish the kids would head in, turn over their catch to daddy and he would sell it at market, keep track of the monies earned and, when enough was earned, they would be able to buy a motor.
I find this fascinating on several levels, including the simple view into the local history 50 years ago, the lesson about working to earn something of value, the concept of supporting the family and the contrast to how things are today. Pretty cool stuff.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Round 2
Chris had her second treatment yesterday and is starting to experience the after effects. It is really tough to see her in all that pain and discomfort knowing that all I can do is simply try to support her emotionally and help as much as I can with tactical stuff.
That being said she still is keeping a largely positive mindset and drive to combat her cancer. Everyone says a key to coping with it is attitude and her attitude is amazing. We don't know the outcome, but whatever the case, it will be positively influenced by Chris' positive attitude. She will continue to attack this and I will continue to support. It ain't pretty, but it ain't impossible either!
That being said she still is keeping a largely positive mindset and drive to combat her cancer. Everyone says a key to coping with it is attitude and her attitude is amazing. We don't know the outcome, but whatever the case, it will be positively influenced by Chris' positive attitude. She will continue to attack this and I will continue to support. It ain't pretty, but it ain't impossible either!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Wiser?
I have always been extremely insecure. From when I was a kid trying to impress my dad and all through my work years trying to gain approval from my various bosses, as well as in my relationships with my first wife and now Chris. I have felt the need to "measure up" for years and years.
Not so much anymore. Maybe it's age, mebbe maturity (though I tend to project only as much of that as I have to) but I rarely feel the old overwhelming sense of panic and fear that I used to feel when someone I looked to for affirmation didn't provide it, more likely than not do to any number of reasons other than having a clue that they were holding my fragile ego in their palm.
Whatever the reason is, it's good therapy. I feel more comfortable in my skin than I ever have. I am beginning to realize my worth to the people I care about, and the ones that don't matter really don't. As I consider my legacy, I know there's lots of work to do to continue erasing old dysfunction I either created or inherited, yet the prospect is appealing to me and, most importantly, doable. I may be just another schmo but I can deal with that.
Not so much anymore. Maybe it's age, mebbe maturity (though I tend to project only as much of that as I have to) but I rarely feel the old overwhelming sense of panic and fear that I used to feel when someone I looked to for affirmation didn't provide it, more likely than not do to any number of reasons other than having a clue that they were holding my fragile ego in their palm.
Whatever the reason is, it's good therapy. I feel more comfortable in my skin than I ever have. I am beginning to realize my worth to the people I care about, and the ones that don't matter really don't. As I consider my legacy, I know there's lots of work to do to continue erasing old dysfunction I either created or inherited, yet the prospect is appealing to me and, most importantly, doable. I may be just another schmo but I can deal with that.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Resurrection
Honestly, Chris has a blog and I was jealous so I started mine back up. In the 2 years, yes 2 years, since I have touched this thing much has evolved. No boring details- simply put I am a Store Manager at Food Lion in Avon, NC. Very busy tourist/resort area. Chris still has Lupus and recently been diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer soooooooo, needless to say she has a lot on her plate!
Chris is involved with the local theater company, Theatre of Dare, and has a tremendous group of friends and supporters in TOD. Without them we would really be struggling! They are wonderfully kind and generous.
Chris is involved with the local theater company, Theatre of Dare, and has a tremendous group of friends and supporters in TOD. Without them we would really be struggling! They are wonderfully kind and generous.
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